Feeling the Love

There is still a painful sting in my heart when I think of Mouse.

At first I feel regret and panic. I think, what have we done?? I feel sick to my stomach and wish SO badly I could rewind to 3 weeks ago.

What good would that do though? She would still be sick, miserable, and we still wouldn't have the money to take care of her.

Then I remind myself that putting her down was the right thing. But I still feel sad and discouraged.

If I had any idea beforehand just how hard it was going to be to say goodbye, I really don't think I would have been able to do it.

I can't help but feel that's how it was supposed to be... 
Mouse's time had come. It was clear. In that moment I couldn't let my selfish feelings jeopardize what needed to be done.

In some ways I feel a weight has been lifted. Dogs are expensive, stressful, and tie you down.
[This isn't a bad thing at all. We loved it and will most definitely get another dog one day.]

But now Mouse is gone, it is literally just Jay and I. This is a very precious and simple time in our lives.
 Jay has seriously been my rock. I don't dare imagine where I'd be without him.

 

My sweet, crazy animal-loving niece, Makinzie made and sent me this card.
I couldn't possibly hold back the tears.

And then my dearest cousin Tiffany, who already does so much for me, sent a package of goodies with a card.

To my family and friends, I can't express my gratitude enough.

I received so many sincere and comforting text messages, phone calls, and Facebook messages.

Mouse was very much a part of our family. I'm thankful to those who understood this and showed their sympathy.

Elder Jeffery R. Holland said, "When suffering, we may in fact be nearer to God than we've ever been in our entire lives."

I believe that is so true.

This trial has brought sadness and discouragement, but it has also brought joy and a strength that is beyond my own.

It's such a beautiful thing. 
 I know through time this wound will continue to heal.
I fully recognize Heavenly Father's hand in all of this. I feel His love along with all of yours, and I am so grateful.