Not So Patiently Waiting

Yesterday we took the car seat base to be installed in our car at the Ford dealership. Apparently there's a team of people there to assist with proper car seat installations every Wednesday from 2:00-4:00. Installing the car seat base is the very last thing on our "to-do before baby comes" list, so I was pretty eager to get it done. We showed up at the Ford dealership at 3:20 but had just missed the car seat people [I don't know what they're exact title is] by 5 minutes. For whatever reason they decided to leave early that day. I was so frustrated. Tracking down these people hadn't been easy and now we had to wait another week to come back.

We got home and I bawled. Not just because of the little car seat set-back, although that didn't help... I felt ambushed by an extra dosage of pregnancy hormones. I've dreamed about this baby for as long as I can remember. I've spent the last eight months dying of excitement for her arrival. And more so in the last month I've been thinking about her CONSTANTLY; building her bassinet, preparing her nursery, washing her clothes, assembling her swing and stroller, taking breastfeeding and birthing classes, reading breastfeeding and birthing books, making a hospital bag checklist, packing a hospital bag, taking a tour of the birthplace where we'll be delivering, preparing the house by cleaning every square inch, and of course daydreaming about what our lives will be like with her here. It's all been an incredibly enjoyable ride. But I'm ready. Ready to face my fears and endure the physical pain of labor and delivery, ready to meet my little girl, ready to bring her home. Ready. Ready. Ready. It's amazing that up until even just two weeks ago I was still having a lot of anxiety about labor and delivery. And now here I am- still a little apprehensive about the unknown, but so ready and willing to do what is necessary to get my baby here.

I swore that I wouldn't go crazy towards the end of pregnancy, that even if I went past my due date I would remain patient and express gratitude for the opportunity to carry this baby. But there's something that happens to a pregnant lady in her final weeks. I get it now! I will no longer judge or criticize a pregnant woman when she expresses impatience when waiting upon the arrival of her baby, because I GET IT. My doctor's comments at our last visit [though very positive and I am very grateful] only fed my impatience. "Things are looking really good, baby is very LOW, just keep doing what you're doing and we'll see you at your appointment next week... or maybe sooner." I'm trying not to read into it because not even a doctor can tell me when my baby is going to come. I fully believe Heavenly Father has a plan all set out for her and I don't intend to interfere by eating, drinking, or doing any of the looney things that have been suggested to induce labor. After all, I am only 37 weeks and 2 days, haha. We could potentially still have like three more weeks to go!

So at this point my only option is patience, remembering my many blessings, enjoying her kicks and hiccups inside of me, enjoying every moment alone with Jay, and every hour of sleep. Oh, and getting that dang car seat base installed.