Sleeping Through the Night

Evelyn has never slept good at night. It's been quite an emotional and literally tiring journey trying to figure out how to get her to sleep better. After she was completely weaned from breastfeeding we started giving her bottles at night. It was exhausting because she woke up at least once, usually twice in the night. Having to get out of bed, go downstairs and warm up the bottle, bring it upstairs and rock her while feeding it to her, then lay her back in the crib was quite the ordeal. And then to have to do that multiple times was not always fun. It wasn't always totally awful either. I cherished her knowing things would some day be easier and I may actually come to miss this special time with her in the middle of the night. Once she woke up, getting her back to sleep was never a challenge as long as she had a bottle. I loved being able to soothe and snuggle, then lay her back in the crib and watch her roll over and fall back asleep.

Eventually we fell into a habit of not even rocking her with the bottle in the middle of the night, but handing it to her directly in the crib. She drank it and fell back asleep. I saw this as a step in the right direction- she was becoming more independent. But of course this still required me to get out of bed, go downstairs and warm up the bottle, then bring it back to her. It became a habit for all of us because Jay and I simply didn't know what else to do. There were other options like letting her cry it out, and some nights when I felt I was at my wits end that idea sounded super appealing but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I justified it with the fact that she was doing better at night compared to six months ago.

While visiting my family early in the month I was discussing Evelyn's nighttime sleep routine with my mom, something we've discussed several times throughout Evelyn's life. Mom raised eight kids, so she's kind of an expert and she's always been a great support offering words of encouragement and advice whenever she sees fit. Mom kindly suggested that the bottle could be doing more harm than good. By giving Evelyn a bottle every time she wakes up, she's reliant on it for sleep. This thought had also come to my mind a few times. Giving her the bottle had become a habit, it was a quick fix. But mom helped me realize that we weren't doing anybody any favors, and maybe it was time to break the association of bottle and sleep by not giving Evelyn a bottle in the night and not laying her in the crib with a bottle. When I get together with other moms and the discussion of sleeping through the night comes up there is always a lot of advice being tossed around and I've been pretty good about filtering through that advice, not being easily persuaded and sticking to what I feel is best for Evelyn. These words from my mom felt more like a revelation and encouragement to finally go through with something that I've thought about but for whatever reason didn't feel ready. Mom also reminded me that Evelyn was sixteen months old and eats great during the day, assuring me that she's getting the nutrients she needs and would be just fine without milk at night. For so long that was my biggest concern- I can't starve my baby! But goodness with the way Evelyn eats, starving is not a concern.

I was set on making adjustments to Evelyn's sleep routine when we returned home from our trip. Then she came down with a nasty cold and it didn't feel like the right time. After the cold passed completely a couple weeks later, we went for it... We went about our normal bedtime routine: bath, playtime, stories, then bottle. Instead of laying her in the crib with the bottle as I sometimes do, I held her until the bottle was empty and then laid her down and watched her roll over and fall asleep. That was the easy part. Mentally I prepared myself for a rough night but was committed to not giving her a bottle when she woke up. I would go in there to make sure she was ok and had her bear, but I was not going to give her a bottle. The first night went pretty well considering. The first time she woke up I took her out of the crib and tried rocking her back to sleep but that just made her more angry. So I let her be and she cried pretty hard for about 15 minutes. Her cry wasn't a sad one, it was more of an angry tantrum-like cry, which made it a little easier for me. Evelyn was fine, she was just ticked to see me coming into that room without a bottle in my hands. When Evelyn woke up a second time, in an effort to prevent ticking her off any further I didn't go in her room. She calmed down and fell back asleep within 10 minutes. The next couple nights she woke up crying only once and each time I peeked in her room without letting her see me, then let her be and she was back asleep within 5 to 10 minutes. 

It's been nine days now and out of those nine days Evelyn has slept the entire night five nights in a row. She's still getting up early (anywhere between 5:30 and 6:30) however, she goes to sleep pretty early (7:00), so I take it as a success. I prefer it this way anyhow- sleeping through the night and getting up early rather than waking up multiple times in the night AND waking up early. Another positive thing that has come out of this is Evelyn seems to have more of an appetite in the mornings and is eating a full healthy breakfast. Before all this she kind of nibbled on a piece of bread or waffle. This is so much better for her belly I'm sure. It's probably not good to be filling up on milk all night long. In all honestly I felt a little sad when it looked like sleeping through the night was a new regular thing. I missed my baby Evelyn and was not used to going all night without her! But this is good and I am without regrets.

Someday the bottle will need to disappear completely but I'm not stressing it yet. Evelyn still has a bottle before her naps and before bedtime. I like that it helps her settle down and serves as a sleep cue. Plus, I love rocking her with a bottle and am not ready to give that special time up. We also added a second Binky-Bear to help her through this transition, which we may be paying for later. Overall I'm quite thrilled. For the first time in sixteen months I'm getting more than four hours of uninterrupted sleep at a time. Grateful for this little break before it's back to square one in six months.